After three non-genital pleasuring sessions, genital pleasuring can begin. The breasts and genital area can now be touched and fondled.
The session starts with five minutes of the non-genital pleasuring the couple practised in the first three days. First one and then the other plays the active role.
Following this they begin genital pleasuring. It has been found that sexual dysfunction appears to resolve more quickly if the person who has the dysfunction is the active partner first. If the man has the sexual dysfunction, he should pleasure the woman first.
He starts by exploring and playing with her breasts and particularly with her nipples. He should find different ways in which they can be caressed – he may lightly flick them, suck them gently or hard, or press them with his fingers or his lips – the choices are wide! As with the non-genital pleasuring exercises, the woman tells the man the pleasure she gets from each experience by relating it to the scale.
Then he begins to pleasure her genitals, particularly her clitoris. Again he has a wide variety of choices. He may look at, stroke, fondle, rub – even pinch – her vulva and clitoris. And all the time she tells him by words, by movements, or by sounds what gives her most pleasure and what she dislikes, so that he can learn what she likes and what she dislikes.
After fifteen minutes or so it is the woman’s turn to be the ‘pleasurer’. She looks at, fondles, strokes, kisses her partner’s penis, scrotum, and testicles, searching for ways which give him the most pleasure. He tells her what he likes best and what he dislikes, using the five-point scale.
These general sexual exercises prepare the couple for undertaking the specific exercises needed to resolve the particular dysfunction, which will be discussed in the next two chapters.
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